Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Who needs an editor when you have a cat?

(No offense to any editors out there)
Greetings from Acorn Oakmist,
The Other Human (the one always tapping those square things in front of a light box) took a lot of time in this past many-days staring at it, tapping away, with the box thing parked on the table in the kitchen.

I pointed out that it was a very hard surface, that table, and if she wanted Proper Supervision from me she would have to do something about that.

She read me loud-and-clear, and spread a soft fuzzy blanket out for me. I obligingly parked to keep her on track with whatever insane ideas she was working on. Instead of emitting my usual sleep vibes, I tried to help by sending cat level intelligence her direction. Here's hoping it worked. Now if I could only figure out what she means when she says, "Na Noh Rye Moh"....

Saturday, November 14, 2009

It's a zoo out there!

The backyard territory is getting rather crowded these days! Our humans are busy fussing over all kinds of neighborhood beasties. They have added red stuff to one hanging glass something or other, set up a swinging platform, and have been scattering food on top of a few cut pieces of tree stumps. In response, the squirrels which ordinarily run along the side of the yard and on top of the fence have been visiting a lot, and there are flocks of various kinds of small birds.

The intruder orange cat seems to like to sneak up on the squirrels. But they always get out of the way. And when I pop out of the house to defend the territory (never mind the squirrels: where's that nervy cat??) the cat flies into another yard. If he hadn't been born a cat, he could have been a bird. Hmmm.

Saturday, November 7, 2009


Good Heavens, humans, I said loudly and clearly. Can't you see we have an Intruder in the Bathroom?

It was morning and those silly humans showed no sign of stirring. There was trouble afoot. Trouble in this case had walked through the door on white paws. White fur with orange spots and copper colored eyes not unlike my own. This upstart creature was sleek and wore a collar and was trying to act ... like it actually BELONGED there.

The very idea!

What followed was two sleepy humans trying to persuade me to just step aside and let the silly thing leave without retaliation. That would never do. Sorry I scratched the Other One. It was just that she wasn't listening and made the mistake of trying to pick me up.

She knew she'd been at fault. She just scratched my ears when everything settled down. And settle it did, once I chased the intruder out the door. I don't think this cat will try THAT again for a while.

Still the Terror of the Neighborhood and Protector of the Household
Acorn Oakmist the Red

Sunday, October 25, 2009

A new and nefarious plot

Greetings All from Acorn Oakmist and Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat,

Our Humans are about to realize that we have shifted our Sleep Vibe Emissions to World Domination Vibe Emissions. Most other humans probably won't be able to tell the difference, as they mistakenly assume world domination means we'll be up bounding around and yowling bossily. No: we are much more shifty and clever. Besides, that would involve way too much energy.

Let the world domination commence!

Friday, October 2, 2009

It's a Big Plot on an Autumn Day

Greetings from Acorn Oakmist. I am currently scheming to magick red tabby genes into the human gene pool, so that there may be more redheads in the world. It is morning and my humans are stirring, so this would be a good time to sleep on it...

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Catching squirrels? He has to be kidding.

Hello, humans,
Acorn here.
Elfstone wouldn't be able to catch a squirrel anyway. Don't let him fool you.
Time to whip him into shape and whap his butt for misleading you. Excuse me
for a moment. (Cloud of dust ensues)
Acorn Oakmist.


We are parked in the garden watching squirrels go crazy in the lawn. They are hauling nuts and other goodies around and bouncing all over the lawn furniture and other things the humans are putting out there, exploring every time something gets moved,
and trying to bury nuts. Occasionally one of them will get distracted, and start eating instead of burying. Then when caught they will "act casual, I meant that" and
start burying again.

Or they fly over the fence when they catch one of us sneaking up on them. Darn. They are too good at noticing this.

So I caught a bird instead of a squirrel last night.

Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


We are sitting at home on a wonderful cloudy early autumn day before the humans get home.

We want them home NOW.

they will surrender to the sleep vibes falling thick and fast!

Resistance is futile!


Acorn and Elfstone

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

"There's a giant kitten in the closet!"

That's what my human said when she was up rummaging this morning, listening to the soft rain outside, and found me happily curled up on the big overstuffed gray box, nestled under some of her things, in a nice dark place with the sliding door part way open. I go there from time to time for happy naps after I've been up before dawn trying to wake her up Cuz It's Morning!!!

Now, I think my human has extra sharp ears because I heard her say she found me when she heard me snore. She can't possibly have meant THAT. I don't snore. I just breathe a little loud.

Luvvv and warm fuzzies,
Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Cats in the rain

It has been an odd couple of weeks in our normally uneventful household. First, the heat. Then, some people came and made lots of noise and one of our trees disappeared.

Our humans watered and watered during the heat.

Now, it's pouring. Elfstone woke My Human up when he brought a mouse in yesterday. He has been eyeing the rabbits on the other side of the fence. The Other One picked him up while we were talking to the neighbor and all he could think of was to get down and somehow get over the fence.

More later. We gotta keep those humans in line.

Yours sincerely,
Acorn Oakmist

Friday, July 17, 2009

Wake up call

Darn human-mom caught me in the bathroom trying to leisurely eat my latest um, accomplishment, before I thought anyone was stirring this morning.

That woke up the other human and together they raised such a stir that I had to take my dinner back outside and finish it under the patio table.

I did yowl a protest instead of my normal "feed me" squeak, but my mouth was kinda full at the time so less of an impact....


Later when they were madly zipping around I was so full I just kinda lay there on the bedroom rug and made them step over me.

Oh? Leftovers? Who, me? What leftovers? Oh, those inedible bits under the table? darn, you noticed...

Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Many thanks from the Dynamic Feline Duo to the Cool Housesitter Human. We got along very nicely, as usual. We cast wistful looks at her when she packed up to leave. Now we are back to fussing happily over Our Humans once we got over the idea that maybe we could have three permanent humans on staff instead of two. We are parking next to them, making sure they have every opportunity to let us in and out of human doors, and the usual welcoming committee activities.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Back to the TV reception issue: even the people with new sets which don't require an analog signal converter box are having huge hassles with the new digital TV signals. Apparently normal antennas aren't strong enough and it's back to a world of aerials on roofs but only if there are no trees or other buildings in the way.

This is insane.

It is not worth it to us to go to cable or satellite for the simple reason that it's too expensive and not enough good material to make it worthwhile even with a bizillion extra channels.

I am wondering if HD radio has the same issues. I may revert to being a child of the radio again.

Rant over. The cats may have the blog back.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

All quiet on the western front

..but that certainly wasn't the case last night. Humans! At least we got some peace in our own yard. It was dark and quiet while all around the neighborhood humans were running around with loud bright NOISY scary things well after dark. I went out as usual to check it all out, but it got annoying even for my curious nature so when My Humans came back home I tiptoed inside. I walked very slowly of course, because no way would I let a human know it was bothering me.

Acorn found a nice calm place in the garage under His Human's truck to curl up and snooze the rest of the night away.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Summer busy, summer not

Well, it's been an interesting summer. Elfstone and I have been busy exploring the area of the neighborhood with burrs in full swing, which our humans can't find, just to keep them busy trying to get them off our fur. While annoying at times when they pull too hard, we do love keeping them in line.

Elfstone has found nests full of mice and left a present in the bedroom. They didn't notice for a couple of days, then they were Not Amused. Well, it's pay back for disrupting our lives. "Bathroom remodel", they said. "Won't take but a few days," they said. HAH!

The garden has some nice places for happy cat children to explore. A jungle of tall grass lurking in the occasional corners. My Human showed The Other One a bottle and mentioned something about the blackberries. To her credit, The Other One threw a major fit and ran outside with shears. She hacked and clawed and pulled and they were all gone the next day. Apparently she didn't like something about the bottle. Wanted to save the mice and squirrels so Elfstone could eat them for snacks, or something.

Although the squirrels have pretty much convinced Elfstone to leave them alone. Now if the neighbor cat with the fluffy tail would stop being buds with him, the world would be perfect. Oh wait. A human is idle. Must ask to be let back out a human door so I can whip through the cat door and have them do it again in a few minutes.

Yours Most Sincerely,
Acorn Oakmist.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What kind of military vehicle would Elfstone be?

(My human is spending way too much time on Online Quizzes. Can't you tell?)
We watched Elfstone and the Big Ferocious Bit of String on the living room carpet. There could only be one answer to that question:

Me? Based on when I lurk in the tall grasses unseen, probably a stealth something or other. It's classified.

Acorn Oakmist

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

They tricked us, my precious!

Hmph. We did such a great job at chaperoning the humans that we put The Other One really out of sorts when I started threatening to knock things over even though she'd blearily gotten up to feed me just minutes earlier. They both slammed the door and shut me out of their room. Showed 'em. I zipped out the cat door and started howling under their window for them to let me back in. The Other One, now thoroughly and grumpily awake, was totally ruined for the morning. No need to continue the chaperoning.

But they tricked us, they did! Just when we figured our sentry duty was done for the weekend I wandered in and caught them with amazingly smug grins on their faces. Mission foiled! Even Elfstone was caught completely off guard. He was trying to tell me he'd been watching them the whole time. My cat senses, however, were not deceived.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A little comment on going to digital TV signals

funny pictures of cats with captions
more animals

We have a converter box. We have the fancy antenna. But we get TV with the audio and visual out of sync and a signal that breaks a lot. How was this supposed to be better, again?

Monday, January 12, 2009

We interrupt these cats for...

A little discussion about the Pacific Northwest, credited to Jeff Foxworthy:

Subject: The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy

You are a Bona Fide Northwesterner if....

1. You know the state flower..... (Mildew) (Oregon and Washington), Idaho is Russian Thistle.)

2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

3. You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.

10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.

11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,Yakima and Willamette.

12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.

13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.

14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while working only eight-hour days.

15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: Showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation

18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see them through the cloud cover.

20. You notice, "The Mountain is out" whenever it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

21 . You put on your walking shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60F., but keep your socks on.

23. You have actually ridden your mountain bike on a mountain.

24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.

25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after not using them for a full 12 months.

26. You measure driving distance in hours.

27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.

28 You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Late Winter, Still
Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

How to Immobilize Humans

It's easy.
Wedge between them in the middle of the night.
Purr loudly.
Refuse to move when pushed. After you wake up, start leisurely washing paws
while sending roots into the bedcovers. Repeat for several hours in the morning.
They'll never know what hit em.
AND they certainly can't get into any kind of mischief while Acorn Oakmist is
on duty!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Hooks for the humans

in the form of our cat hair. We're setting them everywhere: on the chairs, the futons, and the clothes. Even wearing the green robe inside out won't work. We're on to that trick. The hooks on the end of our cat hair will embed on the inside and on the outside. Humans, be warned: if you get clothes matching our fur, you won't be able to see it till it hits you hard. If you get color contrasting clothes, it's there for all the world to see. In either event , YOU ARE OURS. (Cat glee ensues!)

Sunday, January 4, 2009

I swear that cat can teleport...

Hello from Elfstone,
My mom just wandered into the spare room just before the witching hour of midnight and found me sleeping peacefully on the futon. It completely startled her because she'd been going room to room looking for me, thinking maybe I was out in the freezing fog and the moonlight. And she had Looked Right There about three times. Hence, her remark.

Acorn is nestled in a blanket on the futon in the living room. No attempt at invisibility there, he made sleepy cat noises and demanded attention and ruffles.

Can I really teleport? Not telling...

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Fur Coats

..relax, animal lovers. They're on us. Not our humans. And it's a good thing we have them. It has been so very wet! Our coats are lovely and thick and the rain won't get through Elfstone's fur at all. My orange fur is calculated to make any rain think twice before landing on it. So we're good.

Now if we can only cure those crazy humans of getting themselves wet ON PURPOSE. We keep having to re-establish our ownership marks on them every time that happens. *Rub.*