A little discussion about the Pacific Northwest, credited to Jeff Foxworthy:
Subject: The Pacific Northwest According To Jeff Foxworthy
You are a Bona Fide Northwesterner if....
1. You know the state flower..... (Mildew) (Oregon and Washington), Idaho is Russian Thistle.)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Veneto's.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon,Yakima and Willamette.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while working only eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: Showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
17. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation
18. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
19. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see them through the cloud cover.
20. You notice, "The Mountain is out" whenever it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
21 . You put on your walking shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
22. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60F., but keep your socks on.
23. You have actually ridden your mountain bike on a mountain.
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
25. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after not using them for a full 12 months.
26. You measure driving distance in hours.
27. You often switch from "heat" to "a/c" in the same day.
28 You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
29. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Late Winter, Still
Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
30. You actually understood these jokes and will probably forward them.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
How to Immobilize Humans
It's easy.
Wedge between them in the middle of the night.
Purr loudly.
Refuse to move when pushed. After you wake up, start leisurely washing paws
while sending roots into the bedcovers. Repeat for several hours in the morning.
They'll never know what hit em.
AND they certainly can't get into any kind of mischief while Acorn Oakmist is
on duty!
Wedge between them in the middle of the night.
Purr loudly.
Refuse to move when pushed. After you wake up, start leisurely washing paws
while sending roots into the bedcovers. Repeat for several hours in the morning.
They'll never know what hit em.
AND they certainly can't get into any kind of mischief while Acorn Oakmist is
on duty!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Hooks for the humans
in the form of our cat hair. We're setting them everywhere: on the chairs, the futons, and the clothes. Even wearing the green robe inside out won't work. We're on to that trick. The hooks on the end of our cat hair will embed on the inside and on the outside. Humans, be warned: if you get clothes matching our fur, you won't be able to see it till it hits you hard. If you get color contrasting clothes, it's there for all the world to see. In either event , YOU ARE OURS. (Cat glee ensues!)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
I swear that cat can teleport...
Hello from Elfstone,
My mom just wandered into the spare room just before the witching hour of midnight and found me sleeping peacefully on the futon. It completely startled her because she'd been going room to room looking for me, thinking maybe I was out in the freezing fog and the moonlight. And she had Looked Right There about three times. Hence, her remark.
Acorn is nestled in a blanket on the futon in the living room. No attempt at invisibility there, he made sleepy cat noises and demanded attention and ruffles.
Can I really teleport? Not telling...
My mom just wandered into the spare room just before the witching hour of midnight and found me sleeping peacefully on the futon. It completely startled her because she'd been going room to room looking for me, thinking maybe I was out in the freezing fog and the moonlight. And she had Looked Right There about three times. Hence, her remark.
Acorn is nestled in a blanket on the futon in the living room. No attempt at invisibility there, he made sleepy cat noises and demanded attention and ruffles.
Can I really teleport? Not telling...
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Fur Coats
..relax, animal lovers. They're on us. Not our humans. And it's a good thing we have them. It has been so very wet! Our coats are lovely and thick and the rain won't get through Elfstone's fur at all. My orange fur is calculated to make any rain think twice before landing on it. So we're good.
Now if we can only cure those crazy humans of getting themselves wet ON PURPOSE. We keep having to re-establish our ownership marks on them every time that happens. *Rub.*
Now if we can only cure those crazy humans of getting themselves wet ON PURPOSE. We keep having to re-establish our ownership marks on them every time that happens. *Rub.*
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
The Great Cat Sulk
Acorn here,
Elfstone was hauled off by My Human yesterday and came back in an absolutely foul mood.
He slunk into the bedroom grumbling and looking exhausted.
The Great Cat Sulk lasted about a day and a night.
I could have told him the humans would finally figure out he hadn't had his shots in four years. His game was finally up. They cut through the feline fog he'd been emitting in his hitherto successful effort to have them not notice.
I do hope he feels better soon, though. Life around here just isn't the same till I get another chance to whop his butt into shape.
Elfstone was hauled off by My Human yesterday and came back in an absolutely foul mood.
He slunk into the bedroom grumbling and looking exhausted.
The Great Cat Sulk lasted about a day and a night.
I could have told him the humans would finally figure out he hadn't had his shots in four years. His game was finally up. They cut through the feline fog he'd been emitting in his hitherto successful effort to have them not notice.
I do hope he feels better soon, though. Life around here just isn't the same till I get another chance to whop his butt into shape.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Taking Care of My Human
It is a sleepy foggy day and I am making sure My Human, who is home for once, is properly nursed so she can get better. This involves the usual cat snuggles -- earlier today she had a warmed up nice smelling bag on her eyes, and all seventeen pounds of me on her lap, when she went back to bed for a while. So I could keep the rest of her nice and warm.
Of course a few bribes may be in order. She knows I'm a Very Special Cat, and even told me so. So I let her tell me so with some chicken, and a couple of bites of bacon, and will be making sure she remembers another little treat in a bit...
With all fondness, and a blue-eyed stare,
Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat
Of course a few bribes may be in order. She knows I'm a Very Special Cat, and even told me so. So I let her tell me so with some chicken, and a couple of bites of bacon, and will be making sure she remembers another little treat in a bit...
With all fondness, and a blue-eyed stare,
Elfstone Chestnut Pussycat